“Celebrating” the companies that screw Mother Earth the hardest.
There are plenty of awards that honor efforts to protect the natural environment, but Mother Earth is losing, and it’s time the winners got their due. This past Tuesday was the Motherfucker Awards, where companies responsible for the most damage were blasted, and journalists, activists, & comedians created their own satirical acceptance speeches.
“Congratulations” (f*ck you) to some the winners, outlined below.
Land
for making dirt dirtier than ever…
Tyson dumped millions of tons of pollutants into U.S. waterways. Drinking water contaminated with nitrates is linked to cancer, birth defects, and thyroid problems. Fertilizer pollution is also the leading cause of annual toxic algae blooms that cause Dead Zones in waterways across America.
Who’ll stop the rain? Maybe no one, but these nominees are doing their best to drain aquifers and sell the water back to you in bottles that will last forever!
The equivalent of one garbage truck of plastic enters into our seas every minute, every day, all year long. This year about 10,000 volunteers from the Breakfree from plastics movement conducted trash cleanups in 42 countries in an effort to identify the brands that contributed most significantly to plastic pollution in 2018. Coca-Cola was identified as the largest plastic polluter to our oceans globally.
Air
for making the atmosphere more visible…
How many chemicals can one man breathe? The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind … Because the atmosphere is a great place to dump pollutants. A light breeze carries away your poisons, and -— poof! — problem solved. Thanks to our nominees, bottled air will soon be as ubiquitous as bottled water, further stimulating economic growth!
Chase is the #1 Wall Street funder of tar sands –– one of the dirtiest fossil fuels on the planet. Their investments in the tar sands sector directly result in human rights abuses and environmental disasters.
Spirit
for outstanding efforts to break the human spirit…
Reality
for warping reality…
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